we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
