When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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