I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
