You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
