Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
