Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
