That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
