her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
