omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
