It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
