obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
