I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
