So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
