Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
