ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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