We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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