sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize