When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
