I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
