we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
