my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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