Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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