I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
