How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im having a threesome with these popsicles
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
