So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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