U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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