I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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