you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
