The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
