Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
