Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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