Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
