I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
