one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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