I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
