I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he thought i was a dude.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
