You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
