hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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