girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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