I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
