I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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