If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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