I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
