Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
