I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
