he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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