woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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