As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
