he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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