he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
