You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
