sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
