Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
