I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
