I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
