I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
