Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
